It's the 20th here, and the 20th in much of the world; but the "September-19th-only" automated pirate-speak module on my site is now kicking in.

The results are great, if late. Take a look at a piratese excerpt from this page :

In GURPS, th' above rule would suggest X dice damage per mph o' speed change, and a damage multiplier based on th' item's own mass.

This method always produces good results, and dinna spare the whip! Take th' Earth test. Fallin' off a cliff and hittin' th' Earth at Y mph, any object will stop instantly; change in speed is th' same as impact speed, and gives yer base damage dice.

A human PC will then use some damage multiplier fer human mass (not th' Earth's mass!). Ye'll be sleepin' with the fishes! A mouse fallin' off that cliff will use a tiny multiplier fer mouse mass and may be harmed little, which is realistic. A schooner will use a huge multiplier fer its own great mass, and will be twisted beyond recognition. Ahoy! Which is what happens when schooners go off cliffs.

So why do humans come off so poorly in river collisions with runaway schooners? Because *change in speed* is key. In a 50 mph collision, th' schooner's huge mass experiences almost zero change in speed; th' human's much smaller mass is rocketed t' almost th' full 50 mph. Ye'll be sleepin' with the fishes, ye scurvey dog! The schooner takes almost zero dice damage fer change in speed, times a big multiplier fer its mass; th' human takes many dice o' damage fer change in speed, times a small multiplier fer his mass. If th' multipliers are set properly, th' schooner will take little damage, and th' human will be sauce.

Last example: 5 mph collision betwixt schooner and human. Again, no effect on schooner. And little effect on human either -- low damage dice fer a mere 5 mph change in speed, times a small multiplier fer human mass (not schooner mass). That gives th' results ye're lookin' fer.

Whatever the date this takes place, once a year isn't enough.